They already started dating someone and you didn’t know because you blocked them on Facebook, so you couldn’t Facebook stalk them anymore. They’re “Facebook official.” You’re officially becoming a cat lady
1. I know you feel vulnerable because you were naked with a guy last night. but before you fall into the (typically) female trap of needing him to love you and feeling gutted and so low while you stare at your phone hoping to god he texts so you feel like it mattered and that maybe he cares; before you begin to spiral and feel like you are nothing/like you’re sinking into a black hole due to metaphorically handing over all your power to him… remember who you are. remember that you’re smart and cool and driven and talented and good at something and have friends and have at least one cool family member maybe, i hope. remember that you chose to have sex too. that you were 50% of the decision-making process. remember that you aren’t even sure what you want from him, and that you might not even want him as a boyfriend and that maybe you actually had fun while you were with him and that it’s ok if that’s all it ends up being; that there’s no reason to feel shame: shame you would never think he should feel; but shame that you reserve for you because you’re the girl and you feel like you have to play that cliché role of guilt/shame/regret/’what does it all mean?’/i was used/i’ve been abandoned now. think about all these things before your ego begins to feel bruised in the minutes after he leaves your apartment and you wonder if or when he’ll text/call; before you unnecessarily struggle with thoughts like he might not be unsure about you or he may not want to be your boyfriend or he might never want to see you again now that he’s got what he wanted/all that he can get sexually. to alleviate unnecessary pain/over thinking and calm yourself, accept that sometimes it’s ok to have a nice time with someone; with no expectations and not giving all your power away. and if this is impossible for you, you should have left the club/bar/show/party alone. we take risks when we interact with people. it’s a risk if you get sexual too soon and it’s a risk even after you’ve waited a bit. and there comes a lot of unnecessary emotional stress that goes along with it. so do yourself a favor and make the conscious effort not to stress and let whatever the aftermath will be, just happen. you could get the call or not get his call without all the stress in the between time. it’s so much nicer without the stress.
Do you check your ex’s facebook/twitter/instragram every now and then? I know, I do.
I don’t know why, but from time to time I click on my past flings facebook pages just to see what they are up to. But then, right away, I always regret it. I don’t know why I do it, but it’s kinda thrilling, exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. A new hair cut, a concert he went to, and a new profile picture with a new girlfriend…ouch. They look happy together too. Things were never that great between us, fuck, we were never even in a relationship to begin with (except in my head). I wish him well, really.
I hope he also clicks on my facebook from time to time to see how fabulous my single life is.
I never thought it would come to this, but I am finally confronted with considering religion in dating. It was NEVER a factor for me, because I would never date anyone that is religious, period.
The other day, I went out with this tall, dark and handsome guy who charmed me with his smile and personality. Here I was giggling like a little girl and imagining our future together. Yes, I cook and you clean and vice versa. Yes, we can stay in and watch TV. Yes, I belive in more traditional gender roles in a relationship. Yes, yes, and yes! As I was day dreaming and imagining our kids together, suddenly he started talking about Jesus. SAY WHAT? As he kept talking about his new found faith with a big smile and adorable enthusiasm, my dreams of us together started to fade away. And then I started feeling guitly as well, because I didn’t want to insult his faith with one my awesome sarcatic faithless oneliners. So I stayed and listened.
The next day he texted me to see me again. I agreed. What would Jesus do?
The only things that could spoil a really good date is a picture message at 2:20 am couple of days later.
How many times do we meet someone on a first date and our heart races with that well known feeling of excitement and anxiety? We all think the same: is he gonna be cute? What if I don’t like him? But his txts were so nice! Ok, one drink and I’ll leave.
I went into this date with zero expectations and no pressure. He was cool and fun, just as I suspected. The conversation was flowing really easily and we chatted and laughed away without even realizing where did the time go. The entire time I was listening and talking while imagining the future with that guy. Yeah, we all do it. Can I overlook his huge beard? What’s behind that red beard anyways? He walked me to my car and gave me a hug. How nice, I thought and went back home with a smile on my face. Yeah, that was a really good date. And then couple of days later at 2:20 am, the boodie call time, I hear my phone buzzing. I open it and there is a photo! At first, I can’t clearly see as it’s dark and I freak out, but then I realize it’s something a little bit phallic. It looked like it had painted something on it’s top/head. The message said “Easter Bunny Loves You.” I screamed and put the phone away. I was convinced it was a picture of his penis posing as an Easter bunny.
The next morning I realized it was his thumb painted eyes and mouth and paper bunny ears. Some would think it was sweet, some that it was creepy. I guess I will never find out what’s behind that big beard of his.