They already started dating someone and you didn’t know because you blocked them on Facebook, so you couldn’t Facebook stalk them anymore. They’re “Facebook official.” You’re officially becoming a cat lady
Fantasy: You’re “so surprised” to see them at this particular location! You “totally forgot” that they also knew this particular friend! Isn’t the world so small?!
Reality: You’ve been dreading/secretly prepping for this moment all week, as if you were getting ready to go on a date. “Isn’t it terrible about Chechnya?” you asked yourself in the mirror, while trying on seventeen different outfits. You kind of hoped you would be hit by a car on the way to said event.
Fantasy: The moment they see you, they will instantly confess that they are still in love with you and can’t live without you. You will roll your eyes and say, “No! No! Don’t speak!” as you assert how fine and evolved both of you are. It’s better this way, you’ll swear. You’ve grown. You’re different people now. You converted to being a Breaking Bad person, and you just don’t…
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