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Blind Leading the Blind

1. I know you feel vulnerable because you were naked with a guy last night. but before you fall into the (typically) female trap of needing him to love you and feeling gutted and so low while you stare at your phone hoping to god he texts so you feel like it mattered and that maybe he cares; before you begin to spiral and feel like you are nothing/like you’re sinking into a black hole due to metaphorically handing over all your power to him… remember who you are. remember that you’re smart and cool and driven and talented and good at something and have friends and have at least one cool family member maybe, i hope. remember that you chose to have sex too. that you were 50% of the decision-making process. remember that you aren’t even sure what you want from him, and that you might not even want him as a boyfriend and that maybe you actually had fun while you were with him and that it’s ok if that’s all it ends up being; that there’s no reason to feel shame: shame you would never think he should feel; but shame that you reserve for you because you’re the girl and you feel like you have to play that cliché role of guilt/shame/regret/’what does it all mean?’/i was used/i’ve been abandoned now. think about all these things before your ego begins to feel bruised in the minutes after he leaves your apartment and you wonder if or when he’ll text/call; before you unnecessarily struggle with thoughts like he might not be unsure about you or he may not want to be your boyfriend or he might never want to see you again now that he’s got what he wanted/all that he can get sexually. to alleviate unnecessary pain/over thinking and calm yourself, accept that sometimes it’s ok to have a nice time with someone; with no expectations and not giving all your power away. and if this is impossible for you, you should have left the club/bar/show/party alone. we take risks when we interact with people. it’s a risk if you get sexual too soon and it’s a risk even after you’ve waited a bit. and there comes a lot of unnecessary emotional stress that goes along with it. so do yourself a favor and make the conscious effort not to stress and let whatever the aftermath will be, just happen. you could get the call or not get his call without all the stress in the between time. it’s so much nicer without the stress.